I wake up and get off my bed. I walk(running is quite impossible) towards the bathroom all the while dancing cos I’m severely pressed. I almost pull th door off its hinges. I’ve got a crooked smile on my face now cos I can see my lovely pink toilet. All I’m thinking now is “in your face weewee :p”. I pull down my pyjama bottoms and sit down. Ahhhh bliss!! That feeling is only bested by an orgasm(my bro said that yesterday). I do my ish, get up, flush, pull up my pants and get back into bed. I wake up in th morning and FUCK!!!!! I urinated in bed.”
I have always hated dreams. Right from a very tender age cos it used to get me into trouble(refer to paragraph above). Try explaining(with urine all over your pyjama bottoms) to your mum that you indeed went to the toilet. Infact you even flushed and see if you won’t be called a liar. STUPID DREAM. I feel most dreams are severely IQ reducing. Infact if you think about it, you’ll discover that some of your dreams are indeed like Nigerian movies. I’m sure some people even dream in parts smh. I once dreamt that witches were in our garage and they had come to take my dad and they were planning on boiling him and all what not. I ofcourse woke up quite terrified. Again STUPID DREAM. I am quite sure I lost a few IQ points after that dream.
As of this year, I can actually tell you how many times I have dreamt(yep I hate em that much). Twice. That’s the count and both times, nothing made sense. Infact I think I was quite upset I had even dreamt. I’m teaching my mind to block out dreams completely. If I want to imagine fictional nonsense, I might as well walk into the nearest video store in my country and purchase a video(don’t get me wrong, there are quite a FEW good Nigerian movies out there but let’s face it, the majority overshadows the minority). So as of today, I am a proud nondreamer[I have no idea if this word exists, but just incase it doesn’t, I claim all rights :)] and errr…..if u had a stupid dream last night, #shooturself. You just lost valuable IQ points. *evil laugh*