Can you go a block???

She tries her best to cover up the gradually spreading bruise on her face. She makes a mental note to go with Mac powder next time ’cause her mary kay isn’t thick enough for this fast becoming norm in her life. She has no idea what set him off this time. Come to think of it, she has no idea what set him off the last time. She can’t leave ’cause she swore she wasn’t gonna be a divorced woman but wouldn’t the sensible thing be to leave before she ended up dying by his hands?? God forbid the last thing she saw be his face. That would indeed be life having his last laugh at her expense………

The abused woman story is becoming quite a norm these days. We now have close friends telling us their personal stories instead of reading it off a magazine or some random self help book. It’s now a huge reality we can’t close our eyes to anymore. I once asked my friends what they would do if they were in such a situation and they all said they would leave the dude immediately. I laughed at this answer ’cause one of them was in a relationship that could be called abusive and she couldn’t end it ’cause she felt she had put too much into the relationship to just back out. They hadn’t even thought of the question. All of them were of the opinion there was absolutely nothing to think about. At this point i would like to say that i think that answer is quite naive. Life is not so simple and the women going through different forms of abuse are not all cowards or stupid or don’t like their lives. Infact quite the opposite in my opinion. I think they are incredibly courageous. I sometimes put my legs in their shoes and i must say i can’t take a single step.

There is a lot to think about when you have a family. At that point, dropping everything and backing out is not an automatic response. You’ve got to consider your kids and your life at the same time. Someone i regard as a sister once told me she wished her parents had never split up ’cause at the end of the day, it was they the kids that suffered. She now has a terrible complex towards guys. I also have a friend that really has no problem with his parents splitting up. He enjoys not having to spend all his time in one place. He is the only friend of mine from a seperated home that thinks that way though so i believe it’s safe to call him special lol(if you’re reading this hun you know i’ve got mad love for you). moving on……….granted some women are quite timid or should i say “backboneless” when it comes to the issue of abuse ’cause they are solely dependent on the man and feel life as they know it(with the abuse) is by far better than the life they would have on their own. While these women are completely entitled to their choices, they sadly however do not fall under my courageous “banner”.

The courageous women in my opinion are those that stay and endure everything for a completely selfless reason. It could be ’cause of their kids or religion or even the powerful tool called love and it is for them i say a prayer for occasionally. It must not be easy at all. I know if i was ever in their shoe, i would pack my baggage with my children and FLEE. Mind you that answer has been given after years of careful debate on the topic. I cannot in any way stand abuse and i know even if i’m jobless at the time, my mum would welcome my children joyfully(yes that’s how much i’ve thought about it). That being said, every situation is not the same and if you have to pass judgement, take a moment to go a block in her shoes before you say anything. Life isn’t black and white at all.


About Nono

I consider myself an artist who has no need for paint. In love with creativity. Welcome to my canvas :).
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9 Responses to Can you go a block???

  1. HexyDre says:

    Interesting one, Nono, funny thing is that I was still having this convo with my babe earlier today about one of her friends…*sigh*, yeah, life isn't white and black.

  2. tankojjetty says:

    Hmmmm… Different Strokes… I think there's no rule when it comes to staying in an abusive marriage or relationship…Its a matter of personal opinion/love…infact a lot of other variables…I'd advice the couple to pray & try to work it out though.

  3. Stephanie says:

    Like so true, people shouldn't judge really. The "courageous" woman is the case of most Nigerian women yeh but how stable would kids who witness father/mother brutality be??

  4. Olalekt says:

    looking at it all.. i just cant understand why a man would ever lift his hands on any woman at all … i have tried thinking it but still cant fathom it , IMO…. the lady shld leave abeg .. on top wetin ???? love ko , love ni …. na dead body de love abi ??????

  5. Dodo says:

    One can be a mistake, two a repeat offence but common even God stopped at three-nity. Dude who hit(present continous) a lady….I dunno, I work in construction and its "safety first"

  6. Jaycee says:

    One thing I got from this is that, whatever decisions women make when they are in an abusive relationships, onlookers should not be hasty to make judgments against them. Many of them are not as stupid as these onlookers think.

  7. ZeL says:

    Its not always easy to leave an abusive relationship (physical or not)…There's so much to it. If kids are involved, the woman may want to maintain a stable home for her children; amongst other reasons.Leaving is not always the best option, couples can seek counseling

  8. Vanity says:

    SMH stability is not about seeing your mum and dad together. Lord knows I wanted my mum to leave but she stayed not because she loved him but because she couldn't provide for us like he could financially. Now when women do that it's selfless and courageouslySome women have a plan true but for the most part they stay because of love and the fear of being alone. That's not courage. And under what rule does it say you should die because of your religion. What use are you to your children dead?xxwww.somepeoplehavereaqlproblems-vain.blogspot.comP.S When I say my mum is courageous it's not because she's my mum but because she eventually stood up to him and fixed the prblem

  9. DR 4M KAMP KLINIK says:

    seems to me you based this piece on a concept you did not bother to define, plus your example only illustrated physical abuse. the permutations are varied: from a man that beats to the one that does not but shirks responsibility, to the one that refuses to use a condom at his wife’s request making her bear too many children and keepin her 4m workin,to yet the man who beats but takes total care of his family. funny thing is we assoc abuse to poverty… almost true but i have a friend whose dad is quite rich

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