From the journals of Percy!!!

They came in in groups. Twos, threes, fours, uncountable….point hopefully made. Occasionally I’d spot the lone fellow. The one with hopes of making great friends as the days went by. I knew he/she would be fine. There was nothing to be done here but make friends and err…get infected but u didn’t hear that from me.

“By their attitude you shall know them”

Yes! They were all here. The ones who were grateful ’cause this was an upgrade from their daily life, the ones who were pissed off ’cause they were gonna be spending the next few weeks of their life in this dump, the ones who really couldn’t be bothered and the ones who although this was an upgrade acted like they’d seen better. The insecure like I like to call em. O well…..I welcomed them all. It was always exciting when they came. A massive change from my otherwise lazy existence. I fancied myself quite the observer and observe this strange species I did.

The first day was always the rowdiest. They were all over the place. Filling forms, talking, talking, did I say talking?? Shouting. They never shut up. Occasionally I’d spot a quiet one but he/she was always typing on one device or the other. Twaz a miracle they never fell into the ever present ditches. look where you’re going dumbo. what a sight. They formed queues all over the place. Shoving always. Such dis-orderliness. As night grew nigh the old queues lessened and new queues were formed. Did the shoving lessen? Nope! get him in the stomach champ!!. They never listened to me. Shoving without violence is just so bleh! There was obviously nothing to see there. I wandered off to find that sexy broad that’d been shaking her tushy for me earlier in the day.

*kpa kpa kpa kpa WAKE UP *whistles* kpa kpa kpa kpa I SAY WAKE UP THERE *more whistles**
I watched as they all scampered. Jumping from bunks, the early bathers running towards their rooms buckets in hot pursuit, dressing in their “pristine” whites. I hadn’t observed em yesterday ’cause of err….more pressing matters *wink* but I’d gotten a closer look at their living quarters. Can someone give me an ewwwwww please? I can’t be paid enough to live there. They did everything outside. Take a dump, urinate, bath…..n they claimed to be so different from me. Kpisshhh!!! JOKERS!. Most of them fed from a market they referred to as maami. Yea I told you they were strange. There was no other market in the vicinity. Why didn’t they just call it market. I relieved myself in a bowl behind one of the “restaurants” in the market the other day and the lady used it to wash her spoons. yesss be a good girl and put the spoon in your mouth…there you go..taste my piss. Dumbo.

“ARE YOU MOTIVATED??” “MOTIVATED MOTIVATED MOTIVATED SIR!!”
“ARE YOU GOOD TO GO??” “GOOD TO GO GOOD TO GO GOOD TO GO SIR!!”

Why on earth would anyone wanna repeat the same thing thrice and with such loud voices. Cuckoo comes to mind. I’d lose it too if I were in their shoes. Their synchronised movements were quite beautiful to watch though…..that’s what got me in quite a bit of trouble….

They’d been to change and were now garbed in green khaki pants and white shirts that read NYSC. Ooo the caps were there too. They were arranged in a semi-circle and in groups all facing the podium and in the middle of the circle stood a lady. She yelled something and they all stamped. She yelled another and they stood at ease. She yelled another and they took off their caps. I do not recall moving towards the lady but before I knew it I had four men in uniform at my tail. Escaping was tricky mehn!! They were everywhere…. “get that goat off the field” was all I could hear. Who were they calling a goat? Dirty two legged creatures. I found a little opening between one of the groups and managed to make my exit but as I passed them I heard the word otondo. Best believe I’m going back tomorrow. What the hell is an otondo????

Percy….

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About Nono

I consider myself an artist who has no need for paint. In love with creativity. Welcome to my canvas :).
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18 Responses to From the journals of Percy!!!

  1. Efa guevara says:

    Tell dem o!

  2. James says:

    This so shit..oh damn..

  3. Thetoolsman says:

    This line “There was no other market in the vicinity. Why didn’t they just call it market.” killed me…. lol…. Excellent stuff …

  4. Mz. T says:

    Child! You’re talented! I love it. Mad entertaining!

  5. Tunji says:

    LOL…I Like This Almost As Much As The Tattered Naira Note One. (Y)

  6. joeyKrack says:

    OMG OMG ​‎​‎​​=))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º‎​=)) jizzos….percy d corper/goat

  7. sweetness says:

    Yay! I cn finally comment! Ok ds wz rili gewd. Nono Grisham toh behd. lol. 9ce perspectiv.

  8. Oduffa says:

    Nice, brightened my day

  9. marrow says:

    Talent mehn! Pure talent… U seem to grow with every passing post.
    Yhu just make something as simple as this a wonderful piece of literature
    nyce one Nono…

    “yesss be a gud girl… there u go, taste my piss… Dumbo!!!”
    My fav line 😀

  10. Jaycee (E.A) says:

    I really enjoyed reading this.

    Had fun guessing who the story was about. So let me tell you my guesses: towards the beginning, I thought Percy (or whoever the main character was) was a secretary in a building, observing the people who came to the desk…those who felt like it was a blessing to get an interview, those who felt like it was an upgrade, and the third category. (Probably because I’m at work as I’m reading this).

    Towards the middle: I changed my thought. “This must be a captain in the military. Waking dem bois up in the morning.”

    Towards the end: I reckoned this must be one of the personnels handling the NYSC. The pissing part was disgusting, and the woman used it to wash her spoons? Eueeeuwww. I can’t lie, I’ve thought about what the bathrooms and toilets must be like on NYSC camp. It’s never been my experience, and might never be. Lol.

  11. Amazing and well written. I love the free style nature of the paragraphs. Are camps as nasty as that?…quite discouraging. Keep writing.

    Cheers!

  12. theartist says:

    i like 🙂

  13. KofoSwag says:

    Nono!!!

    Crazy post! Didn’t guess twas a goat…ur mind’s beautiful!

  14. yinka obebe says:

    Good to read…some very graphic lines tho,guess that’s what made it real and a piece worth reading.And thinking of your POV, it reminded me if those folks who never do anything,the have a doctors report for every camp activity…lol

  15. DR 4M KAMP KLINIK says:

    hey nono,
    finally got round to readin ur blog lyk i promizd i wud. i think this post is gr8. not cos i was part of d experienz but cos i luv d way ur mind works: without borders but yet precise. i think there’s a grp that deserves props
    : those for whom it was a huge downgrade but quit whingeing early and adjusted… i know at least 5 ppl lyk that.
    respekt

  16. Young J says:

    NoNo….Cool

  17. isantonio89 says:

    Lmao..so this was written frm a goat’s perspective…mehn, dt leash is abt 2 give up d fight. say ur last prayers b4 u descend in2 the twisted kingdom of madness…
    PS:Geez, i’m jealous o. ur writing improves with evry write-up…wish i culd summon the strength to sit and write as constantly u do. Afterall. practice makes perfect…*sigh* one day, i will sha.

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