They came in in groups. Twos, threes, fours, uncountable….point hopefully made. Occasionally I’d spot the lone fellow. The one with hopes of making great friends as the days went by. I knew he/she would be fine. There was nothing to be done here but make friends and err…get infected but u didn’t hear that from me.
“By their attitude you shall know them”
Yes! They were all here. The ones who were grateful ’cause this was an upgrade from their daily life, the ones who were pissed off ’cause they were gonna be spending the next few weeks of their life in this dump, the ones who really couldn’t be bothered and the ones who although this was an upgrade acted like they’d seen better. The insecure like I like to call em. O well…..I welcomed them all. It was always exciting when they came. A massive change from my otherwise lazy existence. I fancied myself quite the observer and observe this strange species I did.
The first day was always the rowdiest. They were all over the place. Filling forms, talking, talking, did I say talking?? Shouting. They never shut up. Occasionally I’d spot a quiet one but he/she was always typing on one device or the other. Twaz a miracle they never fell into the ever present ditches. look where you’re going dumbo. what a sight. They formed queues all over the place. Shoving always. Such dis-orderliness. As night grew nigh the old queues lessened and new queues were formed. Did the shoving lessen? Nope! get him in the stomach champ!!. They never listened to me. Shoving without violence is just so bleh! There was obviously nothing to see there. I wandered off to find that sexy broad that’d been shaking her tushy for me earlier in the day.
*kpa kpa kpa kpa WAKE UP *whistles* kpa kpa kpa kpa I SAY WAKE UP THERE *more whistles**
I watched as they all scampered. Jumping from bunks, the early bathers running towards their rooms buckets in hot pursuit, dressing in their “pristine” whites. I hadn’t observed em yesterday ’cause of err….more pressing matters *wink* but I’d gotten a closer look at their living quarters. Can someone give me an ewwwwww please? I can’t be paid enough to live there. They did everything outside. Take a dump, urinate, bath…..n they claimed to be so different from me. Kpisshhh!!! JOKERS!. Most of them fed from a market they referred to as maami. Yea I told you they were strange. There was no other market in the vicinity. Why didn’t they just call it market. I relieved myself in a bowl behind one of the “restaurants” in the market the other day and the lady used it to wash her spoons. yesss be a good girl and put the spoon in your mouth…there you go..taste my piss. Dumbo.
“ARE YOU MOTIVATED??” “MOTIVATED MOTIVATED MOTIVATED SIR!!”
“ARE YOU GOOD TO GO??” “GOOD TO GO GOOD TO GO GOOD TO GO SIR!!”
Why on earth would anyone wanna repeat the same thing thrice and with such loud voices. Cuckoo comes to mind. I’d lose it too if I were in their shoes. Their synchronised movements were quite beautiful to watch though…..that’s what got me in quite a bit of trouble….
They’d been to change and were now garbed in green khaki pants and white shirts that read NYSC. Ooo the caps were there too. They were arranged in a semi-circle and in groups all facing the podium and in the middle of the circle stood a lady. She yelled something and they all stamped. She yelled another and they stood at ease. She yelled another and they took off their caps. I do not recall moving towards the lady but before I knew it I had four men in uniform at my tail. Escaping was tricky mehn!! They were everywhere…. “get that goat off the field” was all I could hear. Who were they calling a goat? Dirty two legged creatures. I found a little opening between one of the groups and managed to make my exit but as I passed them I heard the word otondo. Best believe I’m going back tomorrow. What the hell is an otondo????
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