In pursuit of Awoof!!

Soooo…..I know I’ve been away for too long. My sincere apologies to those who have been checking up on my blog. Been a busy bee. Anyways, here’s a lil sm’in. Emphasis on little lol. Hope you like.

“When in need, think”- Nono.

He ran towards the police station like a dozen dogs were in hot pursuit.
“my people come o! Come o! My eyes have witnessed an abomination”
People came out like flies. In a little village like that, there was hardly any cause for alarm
“ahhhhh!!! My eyes! My eyes o!! Hmmmm….the gods must hear this”
“Papa Obinna what is it? You are scaring us o!!”
“Be very afraid my people. Be very afraid. For this afternoon alone I witnessed a rape and an almost murder”
“RAPE? In our Village? Tufiakwa”
“Which one is almost murder again?”
“Shut-up with the questions let the man talk”
“Why are you telling me to shut-up ehn! Who are you?”
“People calm down! Let Papa Obinna talk”

All eyes were directed at Papa Obinna who had both arms on his head and a look of pure disbelief on his face. The four man police station had already found its way to the gathering. Yes the town was that small.
“I was coming back from my farm today when I saw something. Ahhhhh! My mouth cannot talk”
“Old man open your mouth and talk jo! You are wasting our time”
The people had become impatient(obviously) but Papa Obinna was not to be rushed. Never had he felt so important in his life.
“My people be patient with me. Before I tell you what I saw you must promise to let me deal with the perpetrator myself”
“ahhhhh Papa we cannot promise that o! We don’t even know what you saw”
“I have told you I witnessed a rape and an almost murder”
“Papa if there is a rapist in our midst we will let the police deal with him. What exactly do you think you can do?”
“ok but you must promise to kill this rapist and give me his body to do what I want”
“Papa if you don’t talk we will arrest you o! What kind of joke is this one?”
abeg calm down! Its just that we have this tradition in my family that if we don’t cut off the head of rapists and murderers, they will come back in th next life and rape someone else. I’m just asking since I’m the one that caught him”
“ok o! Papa you can have the body. Just tell us who he is. It is an abomination in this village for a rapist to breathe the same air we are breathing”
Papa obviously satisfied with the deal he had just struck began to tell the story.
“I was heading home from the farm today when Mama Uche’s son drove recklessly out of their compound. I and this chicken in front of me barely made it out of the way alive when all of a sudden Papa Nonso’s cock ran screeching out of the compound and went straight for the chicken. She ran but she was not fast enough. She screeched but this cock pecked(not the good kind) her, jumped on top of her and raped her. I couldn’t do anything to save her but I sure as hell was gonna bring her rapist to justice. So..who is bringing the dead cock to my house? The pot is already on the fire and Mama Obinna is waiting”……

Till next post guys, SAFE! πŸ™‚

PS: awoof is a term coined by our neighbourhood “RAZZkimonos” to mean something free. Atleast I think it is. :p.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

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About Nono

I consider myself an artist who has no need for paint. In love with creativity. Welcome to my canvas :).
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31 Responses to In pursuit of Awoof!!

  1. Jibola says:

    Hahahaha! Olodo!

  2. mrwiseone says:

    LOL its a jonzing world. Someone should have given papa Obinna round-house kick.

  3. Meena says:

    Lwkmd o!!
    Mehn…papa obinnas head should be chopped off n cooked in dat pot waiting in his house…lol

  4. Tunji says:

    LOL! U R A ‘razzkimono’

  5. Young J says:

    Hahahahahaha….i think say na beta gist sef
    †ha† old man is Ξ± classic Definition of RAM!!!

  6. joeyKrack says:

    If ΘŠΜŠΜΜ… was as good Ξ¬ writer as Ζ± were ΘŠΜŠΜΜ… probably would have Ξ¬ book to my name. Keep up d good work. Funny stuff. ΘŠΜŠΜΜ… don’t tink it can get more awoof dan dis

  7. medianemesis says:

    You had me at “almost murder”, you RAZZkimono… πŸ™‚

  8. jcphoenixx says:

    lmao, sum’ns wrong wiv you… great post

  9. medianemesis says:

    You had me at “almost murder”, you RAZZkiNono… πŸ™‚

  10. RicDiZzLe says:

    Osho-free, from all indications papa obinna is a constant drunk.

  11. Yetti says:

    Hahaha…see his big head!

  12. deddyboy says:

    Hunger can lead a man to formulate wonderful theories. rape. lol

  13. sheriphskills says:

    Bwuhahahahahahaha!
    That kind awoof no dey run belle now

  14. Boogie says:

    Ta! Pa Obinna gats arrange lemz na. Easy on the dude jo

  15. Hee hee… hopefully I get that kind of awoof o… e go good na. lol

  16. Oyindamola says:

    Lmaoo! The man is a thief! Love it!

  17. chiji_eke says:

    Lmao… This is the height of “osho freeism”.

  18. MissPhinium says:

    SMH. Babes, you have problems! Good going though… πŸ˜‰

  19. Eno-Obong says:

    LMAO….Nono has come again with her crazy thoughts

  20. zwan says:

    Papa Obinna’s one helluva ‘villager’, with his “..sure as hell was gonna..” kind of talk. :p Thanks for “cereal.”

  21. Zee says:

    Something dey worry you dis gyel… hehehehehehehhehehe…

    You sure say no be you be Mama Obinna wey dey cook the water for house?

    :p

  22. Mz. T says:

    Buahahahahahahahah!!!! Abeg the man is smart jo! Very crafty!

  23. AeeDeeAee says:

    a hungry man is a crafty man! Chei…lwmm

  24. Krys says:

    Awoof on a whole new level.

  25. myne Whitman says:

    the guy wants free chicken, lol…

  26. Nameless says:

    loool. Nono!!!! This is what i almost missed my sleep for? u r very lucky!!!! i really like πŸ™‚ (p.s. it is @OnyiBi. just incase ur wondering)

  27. Zuriel_B.Barbie says:

    OMG! LMFAO!
    Someone should pls make sure papa Obinna gets the chicken!
    Seems his life depends on it!
    Nice one Nono!

  28. Lol. I hope they arrested him for wasting their time. Ha ha ha. Silly papa Obinna. I really enjoy reading your stuff, ahhhh…pls tag me on the next one. Don’t be too long now πŸ™‚

  29. Oh, and what JoeyKrack said. Seriously…

  30. Ymah-bee says:

    ok! Nono|! this is just sick!..i couldnt wait 4 d idiot to say wat he saw..mschew..hungry perv!..nice write-up!

  31. Lanre says:

    Papa Obinna, badt guys!!lmao #panasharp πŸ˜€

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