Religious Windfall!!!

So this post is a day overdue i know. my apologies. Yesterday made me a year old as a blogger. Been a good year i must say. yea yea you can wish me a happy birthday. If possible, with the presents :p. ok without much ado, lets get to it!

They both sat in church bored shitless and feeling like money junkies. They were two billionaires who only went to church on the first and last days of the year which meant going to church two days in a row. Today was the first day of the year and while they had endured yesterday, today’s service was beginning to get to them. Both of them had already mentally calculated how much they had lost by just sitting there and it wasn’t little. A lady suddenly caught billionaire 1’s attention. She was dancing as if it was a competition. She gyrated and jumped and pulled at her hair and sang and (you get the point). If an award was to be given for best church attendee that day, she probably would have won it. He tapped his friend.

B1: look at that woman over there
B2: over where??
B1: to your right. She is dancing like demons have possessed her
B2: oooo i see her now. what’s up with her??
B1: i don’t know but i’m willing to pay to find out. let’s make this interesting. let’s make it a bet. If i can correctly guess why she is so happy, you’ll pay me two million naira. If you can guess, i’ll pay you same.
B2: You’re on!! What happens if we both fail to guess correctly?
B1: well…..we’ll give the money to the church

Now they both had a way to make money. Both of them studied the woman like she was some sort of rare species. If she so much as coughed, they took note. They hadn’t gotten to where they were in life without knowing how to be extremely observant. As soon as the service was over, they sent for the woman. Both of them were as excited as a junkie about to do some cocaine.

B1: So what’s your scenario? let’s get our guesses over with before she  gets here.
B2: ok! well i think she just recovered from some terminal illness and is very grateful to be seeing the new year
B1: that’s possible. I think she almost died yesterday. Maybe an accident she narrowly escaped. Only near death can make someone dance like that

The woman is brought in.

W: Good afternoon sir!
B1: Good day young lady. You don’t have to be alarmed. We just want to know why you were so joyful in church
W: O! well my ex-husband and i both took out life insurance policies while we were married and he made me his beneficiary while i made him mine. We got divorced two weeks ago. The nucca passed on yesterday before he could change his beneficiary so err…..i guess maga don pay.
B1: O_O
B2: X_X

The church made a shit load of money that day………

Happy new year guys!! May God bless our hard work. Till next post, be safe!!


About Nono

I consider myself an artist who has no need for paint. In love with creativity. Welcome to my canvas :).
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23 Responses to Religious Windfall!!!

  1. lateef says:

    Mad funny! Nono nice 1

  2. odenke says:

    ‎​Lmao! Wat a way 2 start my day!

  3. Yinka Obebe says:

    Lol. Can’t believe I filled out my name, email address then website just to write lol. So I decided to write lol 3 times.

  4. Sweetie says:

    Ds got me laffin hard. If this were CSI, she’d b suspct #1 on her ex-husband’s murder case. Lmao.

  5. Efa guevara says:


  6. jayeolapapingo says:

    Lol…9ice 1

  7. Mz.T says:

    LMBO!!!!!!!!!! I love it!

  8. nenny says:

    Hahahaha. Maga don pay indeed.

  9. joeyKrack says:

    I’m not even sure who to feel bad for the billionaires or the lady’s husband. All in all anoda nice story from that storehouse of smartness. Big ups to Ʊ.

  10. chiji_eke says:

    Nice one… No b small new year maga…
    Happy blogging birthday Nono. Keep telling it

  11. damii says:

    Funny…… I like the convo.

  12. colormekenzo says:

    Lool!!! Seriously, that’s enough reason for her to gyrate like she did!!! Happy New Year, Nono 🙂

  13. Umoefik says:

    haha Nice one!

  14. MsDang says:

    Lol…as always…rotfl funny. Nice one

  15. Funny! i like the way d billionaires chose to throw away money whilst grumbling about not making any. two idiots gambling over the gamble of another.

  16. StephanieIj says:


  17. ThePervNerd says:


  18. marrow says:

    lool!!! Nyce one!
    Happy blogging birthdae btw! Eagerly looking forward to more posts ds yr! 😀

  19. Rico says:

    Lol, I’ll never look at my congregation members the same again

  20. edemah007 says:

    hahahahahahahahaha….just can’t stop laughing, reminds me of what my elder bro showed me in the bible…’the sacrifice of the wicked is abomination, how much more when he bringeth it with a wicked mind??????????????????’

  21. Lanre says:

    LOOOOOOOL *rwnd-ov-applause* happy new year & happy blorthday!! :p

  22. radeyo says:

    *sigh* happy ending! 2million won’t rily affect a billionaire. The church accrues 4M n d Woman’s maga paid even in death… God bless our 2011, loool.

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