The Elevator Ride!!!

His perfume gets to her before he actually does. That musky scent that was just HIM. She inhales and let’s out a pleasant sigh. “Guy how far?” “I dey mehn!”. His voice. Approaching. She stiffens in her seat. Tensed. Sweating. Trying to breathe but not actually getting there. Breathe stupid! She contemplates pulling a fainting act but she spots the other dude who’d been on her case all week. He’d probably get to her before HE does. *sigh*. C’mon big guy! Set this script right. She looks up at the ceiling. Nothing. Where was the sign when you needed one? He comes through the door. She has her back to it but she can tell its him. Now goosebumps. Just great. Maybe today would be the day she’d say hello. Maybe smile at him. Maybe even get a wink from him. Swoon. Ok that would probably be a bit extreme but who cared at this point? She’d spent months of her life fantasising about this guy. Damn if she wasn’t going to introduce herself today. “Tola get this file to admin now”. She pauses in mid stride. JUST EFFING GREAT. Was this the sign? Was the big guy telling her to cease and desist?

She moves towards the elevator. File in hand. Muttering to herself. Who knew if he was going to be there when she got back? PING. The sound of the elevator getting to her floor. Its empty. She gets in. Door starts closing…. “hold it”. His voice. She stays rooted to the spot. He gets there just in time to stop the doors from fully closing. He gets in. “hello he says with a smile. She feels like icecream on a hot day. They were both going up to the fifth floor. She manages a shaky smile while her heart thunders in her chest.
2…..3…….the elevator comes to a halt. The power has gone out. 9ja o!

1 hour later
The power is still not back on. From what she can see, he has loosened his tie and is sweating profusely. She sits on the floor and starts chatting on her blackberry. “gololololohorararararawembewembewembewembe”. She looks up. What the fuck was that? “gololololohorararararawembewembewembewembe”. She squints through the darkness. Mr “Perfect” had his jacket off and his tie tied around his head. His shirt was now unbuttoned and his white singlet had an eerie glow. ok. She stands up and moves towards the corner as Mr “Perfect” pulls out cowries from his jacket. “who the fuck walks around with cowries in his pocket?” He scatters them on the floor of the elevator as he chants “ees a lie! You will not get me today. “Henemies”! I see u! gololololohorararararawembewembewembewembe…come out and face the python! Come out o!” over and over again. The chanting is accompanied by a ritualistic dance she can see ’cause “Oga” lit a candle. Tola is in tears at this point and slowly inching towards the elevator door. “HELP!!!” she yells and as if on cue, the power comes back on. The elevator continues its ascent towards the fifth floor.

She practically sprints out of the elevator. The fifth floor was busy with activity as usual and Mr “Perfect” was back to looking as perfect as ever. As she approaches the administrative office, she quickly logs on to twitter to tweet about her ordeal. The first tweet she sees is: @grownsexyandbeautiful: I would totally do my boss gosh! Dude is so handsome. She replies: ODE u don’t know if the man collects human heads in his spare time. If you like don’t go and do the person whose background you know. KMFT. RT @grownsexyandbeautiful: I would totally (cont)

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.


About Nono

I consider myself an artist who has no need for paint. In love with creativity. Welcome to my canvas :).
This entry was posted in Fiction. Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to The Elevator Ride!!!

  1. D33_Em says:

    LMFAO!! youre a nutter….nice though.

  2. BonnieStark says:

    OMG. im tearing up. This is so cool. see me expecting to see some raunchy sex scene. *applause*

  3. thetoolsman says:

    lmao @ gololololohorararararawembewembewembewembe (I actually tried pronouncing it) .. nice..

  4. @mizzkenzo says:

    I didn’t expect that!
    But she should be afraid o. She has seen what she wasn’t supposed to see.
    Will there be a sequel?

  5. ThePervNerd says:

    *quietly stashing my cowries away*

  6. KofoSwaggnificent says:


    Nono u Hav gone mental….naiz twist!

  7. fuckingwamker says:

    *puts Jergens down* KillJoy

  8. jumie says:

    Lmfao!!! Nono u’ve killed me!!! Ws expectin one hawt steamy scene after d power went out….*rme*.
    Good one! Rily good 😀

  9. Umoefik says:


  10. friday says:

    lwkmd… U try no b small

  11. Berry says:

    Evn tho u dnt @ me dis is rily great!

  12. oluremithefish says:

    Nice piece.

  13. e__victor says:

    hahahaha that was a good read

  14. exothermic says:

    Lmao! Nice piece… Didn’t see that ending coming…

  15. BBB says:

    looooool u got me, as usual ur imagination astounds me

  16. Jaycee (E.A) says:

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha…..that was SO FUNNY. Gosh. I was expecting some sort of romantic stuff to go down, and then the cowries…God forbid bad thing o! Lol.

  17. som1twisted says:

    Sigh. Nono. It is finished. I will book ur space in psychatric ward 2mrw. Not d one at yaba. D local ones where dey beat u all day.

    Lovely piece omoge. Tooo gbasky.
    Keep it up.

  18. isantonio89 says:

    Lmaoooo @ d vernacular d guy spoke in d elevator!!!! Kai, nono, U̶̲̥̅̊’ve come again. I actually thought there would be some hot make-out scene once the lights went out. Smh.

  19. SB says:

    Loooool! Very funny indeed! The tola babe strong sha…cus if na me, I for don faint!!!

  20. aavalanch says:

    Wicked! I never expected that turn

  21. Nono!!!

    I have nothing to say to u. U haff craze finish. But seriously, good story, really funny, mad ending. I like. 🙂

  22. SapphireChic says:

    Hmmmm…thank God today is sunday…I will pray for you my friend!! I’m glad I’m not the only one who tried pronouncing the chant!! Lmao!!! Well done!!

  23. Bossman says:

    Nice one sista…tola! tola !!
    I dey laugh ooooo

  24. Mz. T says:

    I’m totally envious of your imagination.

  25. Ada says:

    LMAO!!!! I totally was not expecting that!!!

  26. 3ciah says:

    okkkki, NoNo..yuaf madt finich oh!! there i was….feeling like a genius, certain that they’d make out ferociously & even get caught gan O.O
    ††† lawd have mercy on my soul ††† 10/10, baybee!!

  27. afrosays says:

    I shoulda left a comment earlier but I said I would be back and I am.
    Incantations? Don’t lie, you seem to be familiar with a few spirit calls yourself…

    **Doing the cross thing with both hands.

  28. missTito says:

    This has me in stitches and i think i m begining to get weird look from my colleagues in the office. Sooo hilarious….. i so wasnt expectin dat. And her reply to d girl on twitter…
    i m here for the first time
    would definitely be comin bk

  29. jemjem says:

    warray twist to d story…thank God God answers prayers n gav Tola d answer she needed.

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