Fix me

Hello guys! So this is my version of the last SYTYCT (refer to previous post). I encourage you to listen to the song that inspired this piece before/while reading the piece. I’ll include the download link again. I hope you enjoy and understand it. The next SYTYCT post will be up soon. Hopefully, more people will participate this time. As always, welcome to my canvas :).

*sob* *wail* *sob*

That’s mostly what I remember. I don’t know where I am but I’m tied up to a chair. They don’t want to tell me anything. I have begged and begged and begged. They don’t act like I’m there. Except when they come to clean me up. I feel lost and confused. Who are they? Where is she? What’s happening? I need somebody to talk to me. Please…..

She’s here. My eyes are closed but I can feel her……smell her. I open them as a tear slides down my cheek. Fina….“NOOOOOOOOO!!!!” She’s not here. “SHE’S NOT HERE” This is cruel. Why would anyone do this to me? I see her but I can’t have her. I inhale deeply. I inhale again. This is not enough. Please. “STOP THIS PLEASE. WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU?” I feel eyes on me. I feel the tremors coming. I drift away….

I see myself. I see myself watching her. She’s sleeping. It’s quiet. She’s so beautiful. I want to wake her up but I can’t find the stick. “DON’T PANIC”. She’s perfect. She makes everything better. She’s mine. I need to find the stick. “RELAX” I tell myself but I can’t hear me. This is all very confusing. I need her. I need her to make it all better. I see two stones. I remember Fred Flintstone made it work. If he could, why can’t I? I reach for the stones. I am determined. Determination does not seem to be enough after ten minutes. My hands are bruised. Just one more try I tell myself…then one more…one more till you get it damnit…..

I am in the room. The evil room. A man walks in carrying something. He drops it on the bed and leaves. He does not look at me. I feel like shit. I begin to wallow in my self pity. Then I see her. I can’t believe it. I smile at her. She’s not smiling back. Something is wrong. She fell. “SOMEBODY HELP!!!! SHE NEEDS A DOCTOR”. Again, they ignore me. “I can fix you baby but I’m tied up. I’M FUCKING TIED UP.” I feel a wind on my face. Wait. That’s no wind. “NOOOOOOOOOOOO”. They want to kill her. How can someone be so cruel? The fan spins in her direction….It blows her away. In big chunks and little ones. I grab my sides as I rock back and forth. “NOOOO NOOOO NOOOOO”. She’s dying and I’m helpless. I want to go with her. “LET ME GO PLEASE!!!!” Silence…..

I begin to accept my fate. I still have my memories. They can’t take that away. I smile as I remember watching her…. or was it me? Very confusing. I miss my memories. I want to go there. I don’t want to be in this room. I hear a voice. I know that voice. It’s Rosi.

“William can you hear me? It’s Rosi. I’m so sorry I had to do this to you but I love you too much to watch you destroy yourself and everything we’ve built in the process. I once asked you if you’d be there if I fell, got lost or forgot who I was and you said yes. For better or worse right? Well this is me being here at your worst ’cause baby it goes both ways. I will be here every time you fall, get lost or forget who you are. I love you baby and no Mary under the sun can ruin that. I am so sorry we fought. Get better soon baby. There’s so much I want to tell you. Peter started walking yesterday. Can you believe that? Our little boy is walking. I got some of it on camera. They say I can’t show it to you till you’re out of the detox room. We miss you baby. Please do this for us.”

I sob as Rosi speaks. Everything is clear now. I have so much to live for. I have a son and a wife. I want to fight for them. I really do but it’s so hard. Mary makes it all better. Mary….my Mary Jane. “STOP THAT!” Think of Rosi and Peter. Your son is walking. I smile as I engulf myself with thoughts of my wife and son. Everything is going to be alright. Everything has to be alright.

I fall asleep. I see Mary. She still haunts my dreams. NOOOOOOOO….I want Rosi. I miss my Rosi. I hear her voice like it’s coming from far off.

“Relax baby, they call it recovery for a reason”

I smile. Everything will be alright.

About Nono

I consider myself an artist who has no need for paint. In love with creativity. Welcome to my canvas :).
This entry was posted in Fiction, SYTYCT. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Fix me

  1. Dhamani says:

    ah well! My thoughts are everywhere right now…

  2. TheBabyMaker says:

    This is so beautiful. The Chaos; its soothing.

  3. listener says:

    Good read Nono. U got me thinking in stutters and spurts just like ur lead character. How do u draw readers in like that? How?

  4. Inem says:

    There is something unique about your posts, that actually captures my mind each time I read ’em, making me not want to skip any line and at the same time trying to get to the end of the post.
    This is really nice….got me really thinking, though…:-)

  5. emem says:

    Honestly, I’m confused. My mind has scattered but I guess that’s the art to it. I was captivated the entire time, beautiful read Nono

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