Of Baby Steps and Results…….

Over the past 3 years, I have been on a journey to get the ideal body. I lost 25kg dropping to 62kg but I felt I was too skinny. I started putting on weight again and got introduced to weights. I decided to do only weights without cardio and that again was not satisfactory. I built muscle but I was still largely bigger than I wanted to be.

Two days ago, I came across bodybuilding.com where I found a ton of training programs targeted at different results. From reading different articles on the site, I have come to realize that the ideal workout for me is a combination of cardio and weights….that’s the only way I will get down in size while also building muscle. I picked the 12-week “Lean body program” and I started yesterday. One of the reasons I did not put up a post yesterday (I started typing but I never finished). Between my hectic work schedule, shopping for the right supplies for the program and actually beginning the program, I was drained physically and mentally. 

Day1 of the program was a huge success. I started with weights focusing on my arms and ended with 26mins of high intensity cardio training (HICT). Believe me when I say the burn was felt lol! The entire day got me thinking of why it was such a success. There were some things I accomplished that I had originally thought I wouldn’t be able to (the HICT) in particular.

The first thing I think I did well was my research. There were so many programs on the site that promised results in a shorter period of time but they were all extremely intense. I want to be able to pace myself. 12 weeks isn’t such a long time in the grand scheme of things and it’s not like I have some deadline. I’m not competing with anyone but myself. 

The second thing was preparation. There were a couple of items I had to get in order to stick to the meal plan. I could have decided to just start and go with the flow but I’m so sure the day would not have been as successful if I had done that. Preparation is so key to success. This is echoed and re-echoed in my workplace. Very few things are as embarrassing as an unprepared salesman during a pitch. Even for job interviews etc, preparation is so fundamental. If you follow me on snapchat, you would have seen my 200+ seconds of preparation yesterday lol!

The last but not the least is to pace yourself till you cross the finish line. I had 26mins of cardio and different reps of weight work. Because of small goals like completing 10 reps to make a set or running for 2mins then increasing resistance, I was able to finish. Often times, we expect to hit the goal at a stretch and most times, we stop short of the destination. Tiny goals help you celebrate your little accomplishments till you achieve your desired result.

Today is day 2 and I can’t wait for 6pm so I head to the gym. I’m taking my journey one day at a time and I plan to celebrate each day I stay on track like I just won the lottery 😊. Set those little goals today…remember, many baby steps equal one giant stride.

Be great,

Enobong.

Of Attitide and Ownership……

I can say I come in contact with about 100 people on a daily basis and one thing that stands true for everyone I meet is that success is best achieved when two things come together….a winning attitude and a high level of ownership. 

A winning attitude is something you cannot teach. When I work with people, I’m always particular about the attitude of the individual. Skill can be taught. We have many people today who wait for external reasons to deliver on certain objectives. There is always a reason why things aren’t working. This is a key reason why many people aren’t successful. When I say success, I am not referring to monetary success. I mean success in general….be it weightloss, riding a bike, learning how to make hair etc….you will seldom have everything at 100%. Your ability to make the most out of all circumstances will determine your level of success.

Ownership is key to every success story. You need to first and foremost be your own driver. External people/circumstances can motivate you but if you do not own that task, you will not do all you possibly can to succeed. I love talking to my team about ownership because it is very common to see people do “eye service” and less than adequate work behind the excuse of “after all it’s not my fathers business”. 

We forget that life is hugely dependent on referrals. The people who can make things change for you will only do so when they know without a reasonable doubt that you will deliver (I am excluding cases of who your father knows but even then, you will seldom be given important work unless you can deliver). It’s funny but I realised this some days ago when I was recommended for something random because of my performance on something else (can you tell I’m bring cryptic? lol). Even your best friend will not want you on something critical when you’re known to have a lack of ownership and a terrible attitude….

I always ask people who come to me with problems to recommend a solution. I value thinkers. Complainers are a dime a dozen. The question remains “what have you done within your circle of influence?” It may not be perfect, but it shows me that you have ownership and a winning attitude. 

I currently manage three different teams of 20+ per team and the people I rank top of my team are those who go out of their way regardless of the working conditions to deliver. This is the same for most people. Very few things are as awesome as being valued for your contribution. No one will value you if you consistently find faults with no solutions. Always strive to be irreplaceable….ALWAYS!!!!

Be great,

Enobong.

Of Dreams and Excuses……..

Mehn!!!!!!

I don’t even know where to begin. It’s been exactly 2 years, 5 months and 27 days since my last post. I would wait 3 more days to make it exactly 2.5 years before typing this (because I’m weird like that) but I think (and you probably agree) I’ve delayed this post for long enough….

Ok…..let me catch you up on what’s been going on with me…..I’m done with my MBA *insert massive grin and a virtual pat on my back*….I’ve been working for almost 2 years now at a leading multinational FMCG where I work in Customer business development. I manage over 70 people and live a very very very busy life……I have won 6 awards since joining the company, am on a very good career path and I’m not even 26 yet. 

I mention that last part (you really didn’t need to know that :p) because it ties in to the very essence of this post. 2 days ago, I stumbled upon a page on Instagram that has more or less given me the last push I needed. So the author of the page is a photographer who includes short stories with every picture he puts up. Now I have seen a lot of photography pages and this was the first one that had such an impact I can’t explain it. Every story I read made me want to write again. He had this unique way of creating characters around his pictures…..it was really something. 

I think I realised while going through that page that I have been waiting for a perfect time to return to my first love. As much as my life right now is someone’s dream, it is not mine. I am one of those people who can do a lot of things (I’m not being smug here, it’s just a fact) so I find that I get confused a lot. I have so many paths I can take that lead to success but very few paths that can lead to happiness. I have this dream of finishing a screenplay this year but I have made a lot of excuses…..we are in April  now (OMG where did the year go?)

I have decided to stop making excuses. Someone told me a few months ago that I am not a tree :). It sounds funny but it’s so true. We often act like we are stuck in certain situations/realities and we assume the victim role. I am not a tree. I have a great life, I love my job, I am doing well (although my mum will beg me to stop doing so well before I chase all the men away loooool. I will talk about this one in another post) but I could be happier. I want to see my mind become reality. I want to turn my writing to pictures. I think this is another reason his page was such a reality check. He does the opposite of what I want to do.

I have decided to write the screenplay with 2 other writers so I am accountable. You see, another thing people try to do is change themselves. Seldom works. I know if I don’t convince someone else to go on this journey with me, I may stop again and make more excuses. I will also start putting up posts again. May not be as fictional as you’re used to getting in my space….we’ll just talk. 

Right now, I’m enroute PHC from Uyo but I got this post done….see I’m already figuring things out….multitasking and shii :). I miss Lagos like crazy and I know I’ll be back by July at the latest. To the photographer whose page got me here, I say sosongo(sp?)  (thank you in ibibio). Maybe we’ll meet someday, maybe we won’t but you have inspired me. I am excited to return to my first love and I look forward to less excuses and more conquests. Do you have a dream? Do you have a million reasons why you can’t achieve your dream? Find that one reason why you can and start from there. 

Be great.

Enobong.

Fix me

Hello guys! So this is my version of the last SYTYCT (refer to previous post). I encourage you to listen to the song that inspired this piece before/while reading the piece. I’ll include the download link again. I hope you enjoy and understand it. The next SYTYCT post will be up soon. Hopefully, more people will participate this time. As always, welcome to my canvas :).

“NOOOOOOOOOOO!! NOOOOOOOOO!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!! STOP THIS PLEASE!! NOOOOOOOOO!!”
*sob* *wail* *sob*
“I NEED HER PLEASE!! WHERE IS SHE?? NOOOOOOOOOOO!!”
*puke*….

That’s mostly what I remember. I don’t know where I am but I’m tied up to a chair. They don’t want to tell me anything. I have begged and begged and begged. They don’t act like I’m there. Except when they come to clean me up. I feel lost and confused. Who are they? Where is she? What’s happening? I need somebody to talk to me. Please…..

She’s here. My eyes are closed but I can feel her……smell her. I open them as a tear slides down my cheek. Fina….“NOOOOOOOOO!!!!” She’s not here. “SHE’S NOT HERE” This is cruel. Why would anyone do this to me? I see her but I can’t have her. I inhale deeply. I inhale again. This is not enough. Please. “STOP THIS PLEASE. WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU?” I feel eyes on me. I feel the tremors coming. I drift away….

I see myself. I see myself watching her. She’s sleeping. It’s quiet. She’s so beautiful. I want to wake her up but I can’t find the stick. “DON’T PANIC”. She’s perfect. She makes everything better. She’s mine. I need to find the stick. “RELAX” I tell myself but I can’t hear me. This is all very confusing. I need her. I need her to make it all better. I see two stones. I remember Fred Flintstone made it work. If he could, why can’t I? I reach for the stones. I am determined. Determination does not seem to be enough after ten minutes. My hands are bruised. Just one more try I tell myself…then one more…one more till you get it damnit…..

I am in the room. The evil room. A man walks in carrying something. He drops it on the bed and leaves. He does not look at me. I feel like shit. I begin to wallow in my self pity. Then I see her. I can’t believe it. I smile at her. She’s not smiling back. Something is wrong. She fell. “SOMEBODY HELP!!!! SHE NEEDS A DOCTOR”. Again, they ignore me. “I can fix you baby but I’m tied up. I’M FUCKING TIED UP.” I feel a wind on my face. Wait. That’s no wind. “NOOOOOOOOOOOO”. They want to kill her. How can someone be so cruel? The fan spins in her direction….It blows her away. In big chunks and little ones. I grab my sides as I rock back and forth. “NOOOO NOOOO NOOOOO”. She’s dying and I’m helpless. I want to go with her. “LET ME GO PLEASE!!!!” Silence…..

I begin to accept my fate. I still have my memories. They can’t take that away. I smile as I remember watching her…. or was it me? Very confusing. I miss my memories. I want to go there. I don’t want to be in this room. I hear a voice. I know that voice. It’s Rosi.

“William can you hear me? It’s Rosi. I’m so sorry I had to do this to you but I love you too much to watch you destroy yourself and everything we’ve built in the process. I once asked you if you’d be there if I fell, got lost or forgot who I was and you said yes. For better or worse right? Well this is me being here at your worst ’cause baby it goes both ways. I will be here every time you fall, get lost or forget who you are. I love you baby and no Mary under the sun can ruin that. I am so sorry we fought. Get better soon baby. There’s so much I want to tell you. Peter started walking yesterday. Can you believe that? Our little boy is walking. I got some of it on camera. They say I can’t show it to you till you’re out of the detox room. We miss you baby. Please do this for us.”

I sob as Rosi speaks. Everything is clear now. I have so much to live for. I have a son and a wife. I want to fight for them. I really do but it’s so hard. Mary makes it all better. Mary….my Mary Jane. “STOP THAT!” Think of Rosi and Peter. Your son is walking. I smile as I engulf myself with thoughts of my wife and son. Everything is going to be alright. Everything has to be alright.

I fall asleep. I see Mary. She still haunts my dreams. NOOOOOOOO….I want Rosi. I miss my Rosi. I hear her voice like it’s coming from far off.

“Relax baby, they call it recovery for a reason”

I smile. Everything will be alright.

So You Think You Can Think(5)

Hey guys! I am very happy to say SYTYCT is BACKKKK!!!!!. For the newbies, it’s the acronym for the name of this post and it’s a series I ran on the blog where people completed stories from a few given lines. You can go through the archives for a better sense of the series. Apologies to everyone who’s been waiting ever so patiently for the series to continue. To those who have been threatening me, I’m here to say *in Davido’s voice* my jazz is bigger than yours :p. Anyway, SYTYCT is back and we’re on 5 already :D. *insert happy dance*. Moving on….

Ever listened to a song and paused it somewhere because what was said was so deep you needed a few minutes to take it all in? No? Well….you need to listen to better songs :p. This time on SYTYCT, I want to do something a little different :). I want us to write stories around the lyrics of a particular song. I’ll include the lyrics I want us to concentrate on and a download link for those that’ll like to get a sense of the song before writing. What could have been going on when that song was written? What was the person thinking of? What could the lyric mean? How can the lyric be interpreted? You are allowed to be as deep, as literal, as sad, as funny, as anything as you want to be but not off point sha lol! As always, the aim is to be as creative as possible. Test your think-o-meter.

My best friend sent me this song a while back and it’s been playing in my head recently. It’s Hazy by Rosi Golan ft William Fitzsimmons. DOWNLOAD

“I watched you sleeping quietly in my bed/
You don’t know this now but there’s some things that need to be said/
It’s all that I can hear/
It’s more than I can bear/
What if I fall and hurt myself/
Would you know how to fix me/
What if I went and lost myself/
Would you know where to find me/
If I forgot who I am/
Would you please remind me/
Cos without you things go hazy”

That’s the part of the song I want us to concentrate on in whatever we write. As usual, post your piece in the comments section. Really really looking forward to seeing what YOU come up with. I’ll put up mine a week from now or earlier depending on my excitement level but no later that a week. Ooooooo I’m excited 😀

Mistaken interpretation!!!

So i was doing my usual blog round (yea even though i’ve been missing on blogville, i still keep up with my favourite guys) sometime yesterday and i stumbled on a post called Competition: TWO on The Naked Convos and i was reminded of SYTYCT(So You Think You Can Think which is a writing challenge i had on the blog for a while). I figured since I’ve been so swamped, i haven’t been able to continue SYTYCT, the least i can do is write a story out of what was put up. You can also partake in the competition yourself by clicking on either of the links above although the first link would be the smarter choice. I was inspired by a song called “Omo pastor” by Ajebutter22 ft BOJ. I would encourage you download the song by clicking on the link before proceeding. As usual, hope you enjoy what i was able to come up with. My part starts where the bold text ends :).

Now

Aigbe smiled callously as he watched Esosa tumble backwards onto the floor. He thought to himself that she quite looked like a fish out of water – flailing about, reaching for support that would not be forthcoming. His smile very quickly evolved into a cruel laugh as he watched the back of her head crash onto the cold, tiled floor with a sickening, wet sound. Leaping astride her semi-conscious body, he rained three solid blows onto her torso, working his way from her lower ribcage to her sternum. She yelped, shook and choked with each blow, unable to fight back.

“You are the one that will die, not me, Stupid Harlot!”

He spat into her face as the last blow landed and she choked violently, jerking with the impact of the blow and recoiling from the glob of projectile spittle that had hit her face.

“You!  Are! A! Mad! Dirty! Prostitute!”

Each word was punctuated by a slap that sent waves of pain coursing through Esosa’s head. She could barely speak or shout or scream in protest, much less move. She felt herself start to slip into a numb blackness but she tried to hold on.  Aigbe wrapped his hands around her neck and muttered.

“Witch! Harlot! Your plan has failed!”

Esosa closed her eyes and let the numbing darkness take her as her husband choked the remaining life from her, his wedding ring pressing against her carotid artery.

2 hours earlier

Esosa smiled to herself as she poured the brown powder into the bottle of Merlot. She re-corked it and shook it violently until the powder began to dissolve. She knew Aigbe was already on his way home as he had called her from the airport when he landed. She had everything planned. They were going to have a candle lit dinner, make out a little as she gave the powder time to work, take it to the bedroom and have mind blowing sex. She had only realized how much she missed her husband about twenty minutes earlier when Izien her co-worker had tried to kiss her. She had made the mistake of confiding in him about her marital issue and now he was convinced she should leave her husband and marry him. She had immediately set him straight and asked him to leave. “I have found the key” said Emeka from the kitchen door. She was so startled she almost dropped the bottle. She had forgotten that he was still in the house. He had come to look for a key he said had slipped out of his bunch the last time he visited. “Great. I wish you could join us for dinner” she lied. “some other time maybe. Victoria is waiting for me” he replied as he strode towards the front door. She saw him to the gate and went back in to prepare dinner.

Aigbe received a text from Emeka as the car sped down the freeway. It read “dude! I just left your house. I don’t know how to tell you this but I caught your wife kissing some guy. She does not know I saw them. Also, I think she is planning to poison you tonight. I caught her shaking the wine bottle. I think she put something in it. Be careful o! sebi I’ve been warning you about her. I’ll come over tomorrow. Don’t do anything rash”. He was stunned. He read the text again to make sure he wasn’t making up words. Esosa was cheating on him? He immediately felt a rage he did not know he possessed. At the same time, a song called “omo pastor” by Ajebutter featuring BOJ started playing on the radio. All Aigbe could hear were the phrases “omo pastor, you bring fire to my wood, keeps coming back for more, she’s feeling naughty, finish my shayo, finger lickin”…. He was going to kill the bitch.

2 days earlier

Aigbe stared at the ring as he tried to make up his mind. He was in London for a meeting with a potential investor and things could not have gone any better. A deal had been struck and he was in town for 2 more days before heading back to Nigeria. He wanted to surprise Esosa with a new engagement and wedding band. He had promised her a better one once things looked up and things were looking pretty damn good from where he was standing, “I see the emerald ring has your eye” said the attendant as he brought it out of the display case. The emerald ring had indeed caught his eye as the colour of the stone was Esosa’s best colour. He looked at the price, did a double take, smiled and bought it anyway. He was in a really good mood.

Esosa glanced at the paper once more to make sure she was in the right place. She had gotten the address from the lady at the salon two months earlier but for some reason she had put off going there. Aigbe was out of town and would be back in two days. She planned to have a very romantic night and she was not going to leave the possibility of his equipment working to chance. “Hello! Is anyone around?” she shouted. An old man in a dirty looking tunic came out. “how can I help you?” he asked. “I would like to buy Olokonla” she replied. The lady had told her to say just that. The man went back in and returned with what looked like a brownish powder wrapped in a transparent nylon. “five hundred naira” said the old man as he handed her the substance. She paid and quickly left.

2 months earlier

Esosa smiled to herself as she listened to the conversation going on in the salon. They were talking about a musician whose naked picture was being circulated on the internet. She could not help but feel sorry for the guy. The gist moved on to a guy that sold erectile medicine. She turned in her seat to see who was talking. Aigbe had not touched her for months now. The last time he had tried had been a few months after she had miscarried and he had not been able to get it up. She was very frustrated in her marital home. She knew that if she did not find a way to solve their problem soon, she may be tempted to cheat on her husband. She made a mental note to approach the lady before she left.

Aigbe looked at his watch once more. He was the Managing Director of a failing FMCG company and about a year ago he had been given a deadline to revive the company by the investors. The deadline was fast approaching and representatives from the bank were there to review things. His thoughts travelled to his wife as the meeting dragged on. He would be the first to admit that they were not exactly in a good place. They had lost the baby and the stress from the job had affected the way he performed some of his husbandly duties but hopefully all that would be over soon. He loved her and he was sure she loved him as well despite all the things Emeka had been suggesting. His best friend was so sure Esosa was cheating on him with someone because of their little problem. In Emeka’s opinion, because they had gotten married on a “technicality”, if she was not getting it from him, she was getting it from someone else. Aigbe believed he knew his wife a little better than that but Emeka’s words were not far from his mind. He was jolted back to reality by a nudge on his arm. Apparently they were talking to him.

2 years earlier

Aigbe stared at the ring as what he was about to do dawned on him. He was finally getting married. A part of him wondered if he would be standing there if she had not gotten pregnant but he shoved that thought to the back of his mind. What was done was done. No point crying over spilt milk. He inhaled deeply, picked the ring from the dresser and strode towards the door.  It was almost time.

Esosa could not sit still as her make-up was applied. Aigbe had proposed a month ago and they had to rush things because she was pregnant. Her father had almost killed her when he found out. She knew that as a pastor, he would feel shame over her actions but she had not been expecting the disgust she also saw on his face. She thought about Aigbe. In a few hours, she would be his wife and in a few months, a mother. It was all happening so fast but she was happy.

The Season of Loss!!!

The room was dark except for the eerie glow that came from the silver scroll. It floated above the cauldron in the center of the room. Ten hooded figures stood in the room but only three hooded figures were brought into light by the glow.
 “How many?” 
 ”241″ 
 “She’s getting better” 
“So it seems”.
“What are we going to do?”
“The only thing we can do. Obey the list”
“Anyone close on the list?”
“Yes. A couple. The tags will be delivered in an hour”
“When do they leave?”
“Tomorrow”.
There was silence in the room as all ten of them let the news sink in. They had less than a day to say goodbye…….

Mary
Mary looked out of her window as drops of rain trickled down the glass. In twenty four hours, she would be married and to the love of her life too. She had met Jason about four years ago and it had pretty much been hatred at first sight. She’d thought he was a pompous ass and he’d thought she was a spoilt brat. How far they had come. She smiled to herself as she remembered the first time they had spent time together. They had been chosen at random to host one of their club events. They both belonged to the toastmasters. She remembered her bad case of stage fright. He had helped her overcome that and had warmed his way into her heart. In the midst of her excitement was a dark cloud. The fear of the future…

The Yellow country had two seasons that came at random. The season of gain and the season of loss. Previously, they had always been able to predict when a change in seasons was upon them but this time was different. They had woken up one day to find a total of fifty four citizens missing. The council had held an emergency meeting but could not explain the sudden change in seasons. The season of loss had come upon them like a thief in the night. All they could do now was warn the people whose time had run out so they at least said their goodbyes before they had to go. The number of people on the list kept growing. They hoped whatever had triggered the sudden change was temporary and things would return to normal as soon as possible. If not, they feared they’d be extinct in a couple of months.

Jason
Jason was on his way out when the mail man arrived. His heart skipped a beat when he saw the bright red envelope. His worst fear was coming true and there was nothing he could do about it. “Does Mary Parker live here?” asked the mail man. Jason felt his heart sink even lower that he thought possible. “No she doesn’t but I’m her fiance” he replied. “my instructions are to deliver this directly to Mary. Can you please redirect me to where she lives?” “Follow me. I’m on my way there” Jason replied as a heaviness filled his heart.

“Have the tags been sent out?”
“Yes they have”
“What time do they leave?”
“5:10pm”
“This has got to stop soon”
“Tell me about it”

Mary and Jason
Mary felt her hand shake as she signed for the letter. She knew what it was even before she opened it. How cruel could the world be? How could she be up? She knew the envelope contained a tag. Her worst fear was coming true. She glanced at Jason. He looked like he was in pain. “OMG”. How was this going to affect him? She wanted to hug him and tell him everything was going to be ok. She wanted to spend her last day loving him. Today was the worst day of her life but she had to make it the best day as it was her last day. “Jason! Jason! Let’s go inside”. He didn’t hear her. He seemed to be in a world of his own.
Jason knew he couldn’t let Mary go. No one that had ever gone had come back. As far as he was concerned, they were all dead. He could not let her die on her wedding day. Never.
The day had been spent together. They had eaten, talked, made love for the first time, cried, reminisced and finally fallen asleep. Mary had kept the tag in a metal box underneath her bed. As she slept, all Jason could think of was that in less than twenty hours, she would be gone. He could not let that happen. He slid out of the bed and reached underneath it for the box. He had a plan….

Jason
He held the tag in his pocket as he joined the queue. He had said goodbye to Mary a few minutes ago. She thought he was going home. He had escorted her to join the queue at the other end of the port. He knew he was supposed to feel terrible for deceiving her but he felt what he was about to do was the right thing to do. It was too early for her to go. The queue advanced as those in front showed their tags and boarded the Punta that was going to take them to the other side. “can we see your tag sir?” asked the tall skinny dude with the scanner. Jason gave him the tag, held his breath as it was scanned and exhaled when he was let through. The tough part was over. He hoped Mary understood that he was doing this out of love. Better him than her.

Mary
Mary was beginning to panic. She couldn’t find the tag. Jason had put it in her bag “Hurry up Miss” said the lady with the scanner. “Please give me a minute. My boyfriend put it in here this morning but I can’t seem to find it. “Are you sure? The tag is quite large and hard to lose. Can you please step out of the line as you search” replied the lady. Mary was very confused. Had Jason forgotten to put the tag in her bag? She had to go home and get it before 5:15pm if not she would get into a lot of trouble with the council. Only one person had ever defied the order the tag held and that person’s whole family had been punished. She started running before she knew what she was doing. “Stop that lady” shouted the attendant as two guards started pursuing her. She felt her arm connect with something sharp but she kept running…

…….Out of breath; she burst into her bedroom. Her chest heaving. Up. Down. Up. Down. Her left hand held on tightly to the gash higher up on her right arm. It was 5:00p.m. Was she too late? She lowered herself to the floor, pursing her lips, bearing the pain. She stretched out her bloody hand to pull out the metal box. It was out. She gently opened it.
It was empty. What? Empty?
Her lips stretched into an unbelieving, cynical smile even as tears fell from her eyes

Ever wonder what happens to a calorie when you hit the gym?

I know this post is almost a year late and I can’t apologise enough. Thanks to those that have been checking up on me and inquiring about SYTYCT. I think its back :). Hope you enjoyed my version to Betty’s ending. I’ll put up the next one soon. Till then, be good. XX.

Half empty or Half full???

The two friends sat under the mango tree in their usual spot watching as people went by. A baby could be heard crying in the distance as he sought some attention from his mother. Occasionally, a molue (bus) went by with passengers returning from the town..

“Did you hear what happened to the Ahmed?” asked the taller of the two.

“No I did not” replied the shorter one as he concentrated on peeling the mango that had just fallen into his lap. 

“He is in the hospital now. His wife almost killed him last night?”

“What did she do?”

“She broke his instrument”

“I don’t understand how a broken instrument will land him in the hospital?” replied the shorter

“I mean she broke his instrument” said the taller as he moved his right arm to his crotch.

“oooooh!” exclaimed the shorter as realisation dawned on him. “How is he now?”

“I hear he will live” he replied.

They sat in silence for about two minutes deep in thought. The shorter had thrown away the mango seed and was busy washing his hands with a sachet of pure water.

“Did you see the jeep bring Nkechi back last night?”

“Yes I did o!” replied Obi who was a good foot taller than his friend of about twenty years. “I hear Nkechi is now selling herself for money” he added.

“You cannot be serious” replied Chidi. He had finished washing his hands and was picking at pieces of mango stuck in his teeth. “What is Uche doing about it?”  he asked.

“That is what baffles me. I hear she and Uche are sharing the money” replied Obi.

“Ehen!!!” exclaimed Chidi. “What is our town turning into? Broken instruments and joint ventures”.

“Which one is joint ventures again? You and your big grammar. I was talking to Amaka this morning and she said she thought Uche must really love and understand his wife. According to her, their relationship must be really open for her to have told her husband about her sugar-daddy”

“What manner of nonsense is that one? Are you sure your wife is not sniffing glue? Love ke. Uche is just reaping the benefits before he throws her to the curb. which man do you think in his right senses will let his wife be sleeping with another man and still say he loves her? Uche does not love her jo. He is just being practical. What sense is there in leaving her now when he can stay and join her in spending the sugardaddy’s money?” replied Chidi in a near shout.

“Take it easy na. You are acting like i am the one who got a sugardaddy. Amaka was just saying that there are two ways to look at the whole situation. You know they are owing practically everyone in the town and Papa Chuks has threatened to bring the police if they do not pay by the end of this month. Also, I hear their son was thrown out of school last week because they have not paid any fees this year. Things are very hard for them”

“Hmmm……Obi I am surprised at your wife o! So she thinks there is such a thing as a good enough reason for a woman to sell her body?”

 “That is exactly what I asked her this morning” replied Obi. “She just said she was not taking sides but that before I condemn both of them, I should look at both sides of the coin”

“Condemn both of them ke? The only person I am condemning is Nkechi jo. Uche is playing the smartest card he has. As soon as this spring runs dry he will take off” said Chidi as he burped loudly.

“Me i don’t know again o! I think it is very hard to judge what the motives are from a distance. You know how my wife is; always looking at the glass half full. I think it is possible that she is right but i don’t want to believe Uche will let his wife sell herself just to settle some debts. I’ve always seen him as a man”.

“Well I have said my own. Half full ke? That glass is half empty…in fact it is fully empty.They are just bidding their time before they throw away the glass.” replied Chidi. “Abeg you get cigga?” He asked as he eyed a mosquito that had just perched on his leg.

This Post was inspired by something someone i know said today. He was in the situation Chidi and Obi just spoke about and he both loved his girlfriend and enjoyed the things her sugar-daddy gave to her with her. According to him, it was an arrangement they both had and understood. What do you think? Is it possible to love someone and let the person sleep around? Half empty or Half full?

This Christmas

Happy new year guys! Unfortunately things have been less than happy in the country recently but hopefully we’ll get a welcome result soon. So I’ve been in a terrible rut where writing is concerned and I stumbled on a writing competition on a friend’s blog in December last year that looked like just the thing to get me out of my rut. We were to write and submit a piece with the title “This Christmas”. I wrote two pieces and basically sent the piece with the smaller size seeing as the deadline was barely seconds away and we all know how naija internet is. Ok I’m rambling. Anyway, I don’t know if I sent in the right piece but what you are about to read is the piece I didn’t send in. I’d say “hope you have as much fun reading as I had writing” but to be honest, my head was killing me when I wrote the piece so the fun kinda got lost in-between. Ok I’ll shut up now……lol. PS: we had a 1000 word limit.

My name is Uche and this Christmas was like none other……

It all started many suns ago. My ancestors allowed themselves to be captured by the big ones. Rumour has it, they deceived us with food. Yes it is humiliating to even admit but we are a gluttonous race and because of gluttony, we now live in captivity and answer to them. They feed us and we in turn act like total imbeciles. Smiling and running whenever they go by. Why we have reduced ourselves to such dimwits is beyond me. Christmas for us is a period in time when a lot of us are released from captivity. I think Pa Alfred coined the word and gave it the definition but I think he stole it from somewhere. The guy is just a seasoned thief and besides, he is really not that intelligent. The word is too “fancy” for him to have thought of by himself. This Christmas started like any other. The big ones came for their usual inspection. Imagine disgusting creatures sliding their disfigured hands all over your body. Last time they came for inspection, one of them sexually harassed me. I cannot mention what was done in detail without being sick but I still have nightmares. It took all my willpower to stay still as they groped and fondled their way through my body. I had prayed to rooku the sun goddess that morning so I knew I was not going anywhere.

WRONG!! I was lifted out of the cage like a bag of dung. rooku had failed me. I struggled but my body was subdued effortlessly. I sometimes marveled at their incredible strength. I was a fighter but even I knew I was no match for the big ones. I decided to stop struggling and live to fight another day. I was also scared of breaking something. They threw me into a foreign cage. I was not alone. The smell hit me before I saw him. “flesh of rooku! Haven’t you heard of grooming?” I exclaimed. “What is the point? We are all going to die soon” he replied. I knew I was definitely going to die soon if I did not find fresh air. I stayed as far away as possible as if for some reason his stench could be controlled with distance. An act whose futility he was quick to point out. “What did you mean when you said we were all going to die soon?” I asked as the impact of the stench began to fade. “Exactly what the words imply. This is the last cage before the executioner’s knife. I have tried to make sense of everything but all I can come up with is that they are a sick and evil race that hold no regard for life.” he replied. “How do you know all these things?” I asked. “I made it all the way to the executioner’s knife yesterday before I was thrown back in here for reasons unknown to me. Everything we are told in the clan is a lie. There is no utopia after the cage; at least none that I know of” he replied.

That night was the longest night of my life. I thought of everything I had known to be true and how if my less than sanitary cage mate was right, my life was about to end. I cursed my ancestors that had let gluttony enslave their generation. I cursed rooku for forsaking me when I needed her the most. I cursed everything I could possible curse till Stench(my nickname for him seeing as I never got his real name), asked me in more colourful words to shut up . I was not surprised. His mouth was bound to be as dirty as his person. The next morning, I did not pray to rooku. The big ones came for us that morning. They bound our feet and carried us to where Stench called the place of death(very unoriginal). I looked around and for the first time in my life really saw what the big ones looked like. They were very strange creatures with features whose purpose I could not begin to imagine. They sounded strange and spoke gibberish. Stench went first and as I watched, his head was severed from his body as he twitched. I wondered why he did not put up a better fight. I was next. From nowhere, I felt a surge of energy as the big one came for me. Using every part of my body, I struggled. I felt myself break free as I heard a loud bang. Later, I would say I escaped because of my own strength but I know whatever caused that bang startled the big one. It saved my life. I fled amidst shouts of gibberish which sounded very much like “catch that cock”.

The outside world has been quite interesting. I have come to realize that almost everything I learnt in the clan was a lie. Apparently there are many other clans that look different from us and are bigger than us. There are also other members of our clan that walk free. I have tried approaching a couple of them but they all seem stuck up and claim to have never heard of our clan. I wonder if Christmas is still going on in the land of the big ones. I found utopia some days ago. It is as beautiful as I imagined it while in captivity. Someone needs to tell the clan that the big ones will not set them free. They need to break free to find utopia. I have contemplated being the one to go back and inform them but I do not think I know my way back. Even if I did manage to find my way back, I doubt I would succeed without being caught. I do not want to let my generation down by attempting chivalry in the face of obvious failure.

TROIS.

Hey guys! How’s everyone been? Yea I know its been ages but I’m back at least for the holiday period. The piece I’m about to share was written by me for a series going on right now on a friend’s blog that featured some AMAZING writers. Its called “the 12 days of christmas” and u should check it out(www.thenakedconvos.com). My theme for the series was mystery which I must say I was elated to have gotten. I just love getting people confused lol! The piece is called TROIS(obviously) and its a mystery piece I must say I’m very proud of. Hope you have as much fun reading it as I had writing it. See you soon…..

The sisters stared at him as he moved toward them with the blade in his right hand. “I’m going to gut y’all like trouts. Ungrateful bitches”. “Please don’t hurt us” they cried in French. “We’ll be very good. We won’t tell anybody”. “When I’m done with y’all, you won’t be able to tell anyone anything” the man replied with a sneer. He lunged at them catching her in the arm with the blade. Blood was everywhere. “Make it stop please! Make it stop” she begged her sisters. He came at them again. Spittle flying as he giggled…..

“Angie is everything ok?” asked Amanda as she stared at her patient. It was happening again. Angie had come in about a year ago with severe multiple personality disorder. She’d had the same dream all three hundred and two nights she’d stayed at St Mary’s hospital, Iowa and she always woke up screaming. Amanda was very intrigued and worried by Angie’s case. Unlike other personality disorder cases she had, Angie’s personalities seemed to be somewhere else whenever they appeared. “Doc can’t you tell this isn’t Angie? What on earth are we paying you for?” she replied as her whole demeanor changed. “Hello Stephanie.  Good morning” Stephanie was the loud and sometimes violent one who usually came out when Angie felt threatened. “There isn’t anything good about the morning. I was in the middle of something before that stupid dream brought me here. Aren’t you guys supposed to be fixing us? Never mind. Soon it’ll be over and we can get out of here”. “Soon what will be over?” asked Amanda. “None of your fucking business” she replied with a hint of a smile.

It was the ninth day of Christmas and as usual, the queue for Santa’s lap could have made it into the Guinness book of records.  She envied their innocence. Hers had been taken away from her at a very tender age. Her heart beat faster as the queue moved forward. Everything was ready to go. She’d been planning this for as long as she could remember. Yea the details had changed countless times but the end goal was always the same; his slow and agonizing death. “Step right up Miss and tell Santa what you want for Christmas”. She froze at the voice. That voice that had haunted her dreams for so many nights. That voice…..”Come on up here and make Santa a very happy man” he crooned as the audience chuckled at his joke. It was now or never. She stepped onto the platform, sat on his lap, bent towards his ear and whispered “all I want for Christmas is to see you choke on your own spittle. This is Stephanie by the way. Fucking pedophile” she said as she pricked him with the rose yellow and white gold combination charm bracelet she’d had specially made to contain poison in one of the petals. She watched his eyes widen as he recognized who she was. “You have to understand I was a diff….” he began as she slowly shook her head. “I’m not interested in your excuses. Aurevoir old man” she whispered as she stood up and walked calmly out of the store.

Five minutes later, the poison began to shut down his system. They tried to help him but it was too late. His screams could be heard about a block away as he slowly and very painfully died. She watched through the store window as he took his last breath. Finally, it was over.

Maggie sat at the police station after being brought in for questioning. Apparently one of the other people in the queue had seen a lady matching her description do something to Santa whose real name was Isaiah Drew. “Ma’am do you know this man?” the detective asked. “No I do not” she replied. “He was just poisoned and many people can place you at the scene of the crime”. “I’m certain it was not me but before we proceed, I must tell you that there are three of me. I was born a triplet so it is entirely possible your on lookers saw one of my sisters or someone that looks like me” she replied. “How convenient. Where are your sisters now?” he asked. “I couldn’t say. We were separated after our parents died” she replied. The detective had never gotten a case like this. “Stay here. I’ll be right back” he instructed before leaving the room.

“I’m in trouble Doc” said Angie to her therapist. “What do you mean?” asked Amanda. “I mean I’ve been arrested” she replied. “Angie I don’t understand”. “Stephanie did a very bad thing but she did it for all of us and now they think I did it. This is Maggie by the way. Steph was right. By now you should know who is who” replied Maggie. Amanda was deeply puzzled. Were they really three different people? “Where are you now?” “I’m at the police station” she replied. Amanda was extremely intrigued and this made her drive down to the station with Angie. “I’m here to talk to the Detective in charge of Maggie Cook’s case” she told the first officer she saw. “Go in and ask for Detective Abrams. He can’t shut up about how complicated his case is. Like we don’t all have complicated cases” he replied.

Detective Abrams was a short man with a bald head and a very weird looking moustache. He’d been trying to check their less than up to date database with a prayer on his lips for the records of the three sisters if they did exist before he was called to see someone asking about his case. “Good evening Detective, I’m here to talk to you about the Cook case”. “How do you know about the Cook case?” asked the Detective. “Well, you’ll think this very strange but Maggie just called me to help her” she replied. “Ma’am did the boys on patrol send you up here? Tell them I’m way too busy for their charades” he replied. “I’m sorry if it seems like I’m joking but I am a therapist and I have a multiple personality disorder patient named Angie who happens to be in the lobby right now. Her other personalities; Maggie and Stephanie show up from time to time. Maggie showed up and told me she was at the station. She also said Stephanie committed whatever crime you have Maggie in here for”. The detective was so surprised; his expression was one of utter disbelief. He took a minute to gather his thoughts. “Please can you bring this Angie up?” he asked. “Yes I can. I left her downstairs” replied Amanda.

Both sisters were identical to the littlest detail. Amanda could not believe her eyes. So Maggie really existed. This must mean Stephanie did too. Detective Abrams sat down on his seat with a defeated look. They could never take this case to court and win unless they found the final sister or at least got some physical evidence from the crime scene which didn’t seem to exist. He had finally been able to pull up records of the three sisters from the database. He had no choice but to let both of them go. Maggie and Angie smiled knowingly to themselves as they walked out of the police station hand in hand. It’d been over a year……

In a little village somewhere in France, an old dame arranged white lilies in front of a tombstone. It was now twenty-one years since she’d lost her babies. Technically only one of them had died that day –She’d given up her life to save her sisters – but the other two had never been the same again. She cursed the sailor who’d taken her babies from her. Isaiah. She didn’t’ think she was ever going to forget the name. She said a little prayer for the soul of her dead child and for her other two wherever they were, picked up her basket and headed home. The name on the tombstone read Stephanie Dupont.